Protected: [I Can’t Get No] Satisfaction

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Hey Baby…

You miss me? I know, I miss you too… LOL

Ummm…

I’ve been really happy as of late, I don’t really know why but I won’t ask questions… Anyway, I you about the friend who having the house party and how I didn’t want to go. And I was actually planned to go hang with a friend who was in town for the weekend, but the friend having the party asked me if I was coming and… I had to say yeas! I’m a nice person. So when she came to pick me up I was all… rude friendly, but not really paying her any attention. And it continued to act the same way at the party until sobered up* and noticed she was upset. Awww… I’m too compassionate. So I checked to see what was up to find she was upset because her best friend,  along with a lot of other ppl didn’t show up. I let her know I was there and that was all that really mattered! LOL

So yeah… I’m a social drinker, I don’t drink alone anymore and I usally don’t get drunk. However, I might get me a bottle of wine for Thanksgiving, make turkey burgers (LOL) and chill in my room for the day since I’m not going to able to go home. I’M SO RANDOM. Sigh… Back to my day, which is not going as planned! That’s why I hate making plans! “But it’s cool, could be better, I’m okay, whatever…”

*I had nuvo, with strawberries soaked in some  kind of nasty vodka, a shot of gin, Hennessey, a Margarita, a boot leg long island ice tea that almost made me throw up… And some other stuff I can’t remember but I wasn’t drunk just a little tipsy I knew what was going on and chilled out when I knew I’d had enough unlike one of my friends.

Wonderland

Someone referred the following poem to me and after reading it “Your Body is A Wonderland” was stuck in my head.

 

Rainforest

 

you are forest rain

dense with life green colors

forever pulling the blue of life into you

see you walk and

i would burst rainwater into you

swim in & out of you

opening you like anxious earthquakes

uncontrollable but beautiful & dangerous.

get with this woman come

fire frozen beauty,

men cannot sleep around you

your presence demands attention

demands notice

demands touch & motion & communication.

you are runner

swift like warm hurricanes

fast like stolen firebirds

& you disrupt the silence in me

make me speak memories forgotten & unshared.

secrets uttered in strange storms,

deep full sounds reserved for magical,

magical lovers.

listen runner

i have shared pain with you,

i have commented on future worlds to you,

i have let you touch the weak & strong of me,

i have tasted the tip of your ripeness &

kissed sweat from your middle.

i have bit into your mouth and

sucked the lifeforces from your insides and

i know you. Understand you.

i have shared books and travel and music and

growth with you.

sweet knows honey & I know you.

under salted water tides

& running against polluted earth

i’ve tried to be good to you woman

tried to care beyond words

care beyond distant spaces

sensitive phases & quiet lies care

beyond cruel music & false images.

you are original high & dream maker

& true men do not try to limit you.

listen woman black

i do not wish to dominate your dreams

or obstruct your vision.

trust my motion feel

know that I am near & with you

& will cut the cold of winter winds to reach you.

you are delicate bronze

in spring-summers & special autumns

you are forest rain

dark & runner & hurricane-black frequently

i say frequently I bring you midnight rain.

haki madhubuti

Music: “Your Body is A Wonderland” — John Mayer

Home Is Where the Heart Is

Music: John Mayer – “Gravity”

I can’t sit still, like I have serious ADHD… And every thing that smells like any type of food is revolting. I think I’m gonna puke! But anyway, I am realizing that whatever job I have when I grow up better pay well and I’ll NEED  lots of days off because I can’t stay in certain places for long periods of time with no retreat. I find it sad that I currently feel I have to run away from an empty house… I hate it! I have had a cool hangout spot. I’ve become bored with it now. I see the same things and the same people daily, I’m over it. Why can’t I just focus one thing, feel at home or at least comfortable in one place?

How do I become content with me? I mean, I’m obviously the problem. Show me the  cause and I’ll be the solution.

A Massage Would Be Nice

This morning I had an intense stretching session followed by an extremely hot shower.  Just to get my blood flowing. I want/need a full body massage right now. I’m talking from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet! I want my muscles stretched and warmed and my blood to circulate well, I need to release tension. I’m sure a massage would have me thinking/feeling/acting brand new… Take a trip to the spa with me, soon! For now, all I have is this Illustrated Guide to Massage and Aromatherapy. So I’ll be looking viewing the self-massage section to try to find a solution. [Secret: Sometimes I touch myself, not for pleasure, but to simply feel the softness of my skin… Must be the Olay!]  I walk a lot … Like it’s my transportation.  It still seems like my blood isn’t moving and I need more oxygen. That’s why I want to go to a nice spa, get a great massage and sit in the little oxygen bubble thingy (hyperbaric oxygen therapy) for a couple of hours. I’d probably be a whole new person after that! LOL

Anywho! How’s life been treating this week? Is today Hump Day, already? Geez, time flies when … You have nothing to look forward to. So when is Thanksgiving, anyway? I never know it should be a set date every year like Christmas. Today is November 17^th wow! Where did the time go? This is crazy it is almost December I can’t believe it! My friend is having a get together this weekend and I don’t want to go. Trifling? I don’t think so. It’s just that I don’t really know how to get to her house and we only have one mutual friend who has to work. I’ll just be all awkward and uncomfortable, ergo, I just don’t wanna go. However, I feel bad about not wanting to go because she came to my small gathering and only 2 people have RSVP’d. Maybe, I’ll send flowers or something. I don’t see it… LOL

But yeah… A massage would be nice. ;-D

Flash Back

Wow! I hadn’t heard this  song in… probably years until today a car rode passed me blasting it! I was like that used to be my shit! So here it is, Song of the Day:

Foo Fighters — Best of You

Protected: Pros and Cons of You

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Controlling My Thoughts

I’ve been having trouble containing my thoughts… My brain is just all over the place! So I’ve decided to start making lists to try to remember what I am/was thinking before I get distracted. Not only for like… every day things, but in writing as well. Sometimes my fingers don’t move as fast as my thoughts wish they could, I guess I need to work on that. But yeah… lists will be the way to go for now…

Blah

I came here to write, but I’m just not feeling it right. I went to see Precious yesterday, but I’m not a movie spoiler so this is all I’m going to say about it for now.  Precious’ teacher made her write in a journal daily, and she’d write back. I’ve been blogging pretty consistently lately, I’m not sure who I’m waiting for to write back but we’ll see…